Heartlines
by SilversGrey
Summary: An alternative ending to what could have happened to Lexie and Mark in the season 8 finale. If you haven't seen it, beware that this will spoil what happened.
1. Breaking Down

**Heartlines**

_**Summary: **An alternative ending to what could have happened to Lexie and Mark in the season 8 finale, if you haven't seen it, beware that this will spoil what happened._

_**Author's note**: first of all I'd like to apologise for disappearing for more than the last year or so but unfortunately real life got in the way, and I haven't had a chance at all to get back to writing. But after the horrendous season finale and a lot of time ranting on twitter (thanks to those on twitter who helped me talk it out) I realized that the best way to channel my anger, and my sadness, was to do something positive and creative because lets face it this is all we have left. So I decided to come up with an alternative ending to the plane crash where in my little fantasy world Lexie didn't die._

_**The title of this story is from the Florence and the Machine Album Ceremonials**_

_N.B. I've taken some creative licensing here and moved things around to fit with MY story, and I know that the beginning would be highly unrealistic but people please let me live in my little delusional fantasy and I have NO medical knowledge. I know that this first part isn't really cheerful but I think my emotions about the actual finale accidentally bleed into my writing, but I promise you that this is a happy ending story where Slexie lives!_

* * *

**Breaking Down**

She tried to concentrate on the sound of his voice, tried to use it as an anchor of strength like she had done so many times in the past.

_One, two, three…one, two, three…one, two, three._

It was pointless and Lexie knew it, this was it. Her time had come and she laughed bitterly at the thought that whatever few precious moments she had left in this life would be spent pinned underneath the wing of an airplane…not with Mark. She wouldn't get the chance to feel his arms around her one last time, to say I love you, or even share one last kiss…oh what she would give to feel his lips pressed against hers one last time.

But no she wouldn't get to do any of that because karma was a bitch, or had a really sick sense of humor, Lexie thought to herself as fear quickly turned into anger.

She wasn't ready yet. She wasn't ready to die; she had plans; lots and lots of plans that all included Mark…the two of them buying a house, the two of them getting married, the two of them having kids…having tiny human babies with Mark's crystal blue eyes and the Sloan nose.

Lexie was finally ready for all the things he wanted out of a life together and she was dying. She was dying underneath a stupid hunk of metal instead of in his arms and deep down Mark knew it as well. As the pain continued to sear up and down her body Lexie could hear it mirrored in the sound of his voice, the fear vibrating through every syllable uttered.

"Uh, the tubes, the oxygen tubes…we can get her fluids, we can get her fluids okay" Mark ordered as he clung to Cristina pleadingly, as if a couple of tubes and a bottle of water would suddenly make it all okay again.

Cristina sat there hunched on her heels motionless; her head was spinning in so many directions she didn't even know which way to look. They'd fallen out of the sky, literally. Now suddenly she's forced to put her own pain aside…to focus on helping Mark Sloan, a man who she'd never seen lose it before, suddenly begin to fall apart. Like a fragile china doll that had been smashed to the ground he was beginning to shatter into a million pieces, and for the first time in a really long time Cristina didn't know how to sew him back together.

"Got get them, go, go get them…" Mark ordered as he dug deep down inside for whatever strength he had left. _This isn't happening, this isn't happening_ kept running through his mind, trying to convince himself that this was all a bad dream…a sick, twisted nightmare. That at any minute now he'd wake up back in his apartment, sweating, and panting for air but he wouldn't care because Lexie was safe and he'd make sure that nothing bad ever happened to her.

"Mark…" Cristina trailed helplessly, nothing she said could make this right or bring him any sort of comfort. Slowly reaching out for his arm, as though she might get burnt, Cristina grasped his bicep and gave him a comforting squeeze and _that _was Mark Sloan's undoing.

"Why, why aren't you doing anything" Mark cried out breathlessly. His strength quickly melting away into desperation, pleading with Cristina like a little boy would plead with his mother to fix a scrapped knee.

He had been trying really hard not to look her in the eyes, to stay focused on the task at hand and _not _look at Cristina because Mark knew that once he did her face would say it all with one look…that _I'm sorry for your loss_ look that he had given to the deceased's family a dozen times before.

Her face said it all and suddenly Mark realized that it was bullshit, all of it was. It didn't matter how many times you apologised for their loss, or assured them that you had done everything humanly possible…when reality finally comes crashing down there's nothing you can do, no words you can say, to make the pain go away and Mark wasn't ready for that.

He would _never _be ready for that.

Squeezing her eyes tight Lexie took a deep breath to try and block out all the pain, to focus on the sound of Mark's voice as she tried to prepare herself for what she was about to say. Lexie knew Mark, knew that he wasn't ready to hear her say it but it had to be said. One of them had to be the grown up and finally say what none of them, not even Cristina, was willing to say out. But it had to be said, he needed to hear it aloud and he needed to hear it from her because it was the last thing that Lexie could do for him.

"She knows it won't help" she called out weakly, breaking the great chasm of silence that had engulfed Mark and Cristina.

Quickly whipping his head around to the sound of her voice Mark dived onto the ground and crawled towards her, trying to get as close to her as he could with all that metal blocking his path. "No, you are gonna be fine! Stop saying that. You're gonna be fine" he ground out stubbornly, he was on sensory overload with a rollercoaster of emotions and Mark wasn't sure how much more he could take. Looking over his shoulder he shot Cristina a definitive look, "go get'em!"

Opening and closing her mouth Cristina finally relented and nodded her head, she knew it was futile trying to argue with him now. "I'm gonna be right back" she promised quietly and slipped away into the background.

"You're doing good" Mark forced himself to smile as he uttered the words. "Cristina's, Cristina's gonna be back any minute now and we're gonna get you stabilized and you're gonna be fine okay" he promised reassuringly, but he wasn't sure anymore who he was trying to convince more.

As she struggled for air Lexie laid there silently for a second, she just wanted to drink him in…to memorize every line, every wrinkle, and every blemish on his face so that she'd have a part of him for eternity.

"Mark, Mark I'm dying…"

"NO!" Mark cried out fiercely because he couldn't take it anymore, he _refused _to listen to her and if after all this time…after all the mess they'd made, all the kids, grandkids and shootings…they could still love each other then that was worth fighting for damn it. "No you're not because I love you…I've always been in love with you. I will always be in love with you," he confessed breathlessly.

She wasn't sure if it was because of the giant piece of metal crushing her or because of what he just said but her heart skipped a bit and it was painful…why was she being punished like this?

"Yeah" seemed to be the only word she could come up with in a questioning tone and she hated how it sounded.

"Yeah" Mark immediately answered reassuringly while he silently kicked himself for how badly he had screwed up. _Why, why didn't you say it back you idiot? Why didn't you just grab her and kiss her…"thank you for you candor", who in the hell even says that? _If he had just said those three little words right back…if he had just let go of all his reservations and told her the truth right then and there, that he had never stopped loving her then Lexie wouldn't have to think twice about it.

"Which is why you have to stay alive" he urged with tears streaming down his face, and suddenly Mark seemed to develop a case of verbal diarrhea…his mouth spouting out every hope, every dream he'd been clinging onto for the past year or so without a second thought. "We're gonna get married. And you're going to become an amazing surgeon. And we're going to have 2 or 3 kids" he declared as though there was no ifs, ands or buts about it. "We're going to be happy, Lex. You and me, we're going to have the best lives, Lexie, you and me. We're going to be so happy. So you can't die, okay? You can't die. Because we're supposed to end up together, we're meant to be".

"Meant to be" Lexie sighed blissfully as she felt herself slipping further and further away, the darkness was so warm…so inviting.

As he saw the light begin to fade in her usually bright, beautiful brown eyes Mark's heart raced. Clinging to her hand with a death grip Mark repeated the words over and over again because he needed to be sure…needed to know that if this was it then the last thing she would ever hear was the sound his voice, saying the very thing that had _never _changed no matter what.

"I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you…."

"I'm back," Cristina cried out as she fumbled with the pack of supplies Mark had demanded for. "I'm back, I'm back," she continued to murmur over and over again as she staggered back towards them. Cristina paused to catch her breath for a second before looking down at Mark; and suddenly she was lost for words…nothing she could say seemed right.

"Ho…how is she?" Derek wheezed breathlessly as his body shook from a bone-shattering cough, he was trying so hard to push through the pain. Every bone in his body ached with searing pain but Derek knew they didn't have time to rest, they need to save Lexie…but no body would answer him and the silence scared Derek more than anything.

He'd been there once before after the ferryboat crash, he knew what it was like to watch the woman he loves die right in front of him and Derek…well he refused to let Mark go through that kind of pain, not if he had anything to say about it. Because not matter what he was Derek's brother and Lexie was his little sister, and he knew…Derek knew deep down that if anybody belonged together, if anybody deserved a second chance at a life together it was Mark and Lexie.

"And Meredith found Derek" Cristina finally willed her mouth to move, "Mere found Derek".

Slowly Marked climbed back up on to his feet before toppling towards Derek, grabbing his best friend by the lapels of his jacket without even giving Derek's injuries a second though. "We've gotta get her out of there" Mark pled with him desperately, the look in his eyes screaming out to his best friend _I won't survive if she doesn't make it, you have to save her…WE have to save her…you can fix this…you always know how to fix things._

Derek took a deep breath and tried to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over. He couldn't handle seeing Mark like this, seeing his best friend so broken and lost like an innocent child who couldn't comprehend why this was happening…hell none of them could understand why this was happening, it was a question that would haunt all of them for the rest of their lives.

"Okay give me a minute…"trailed Derek as he surveyed the area around them. Trying the best he could, in the limited time they had, to form a plan, any kind of plan that would help get Lexie out of there.

"Derek she doesn't don't have a minute, we've gotta get her out NOW!" Mark growled. Despair quickly turned back into anger, shaking Derek's entire body violently while completely oblivious to the pain etched across his best friends face…he was focused on one thing and one thing only, saving his soulmate.

"And then what?" Cristina spoke up, the question left hanging as she dared to voice the very thing they were all thinking. Because this was Lexie they were talking about, little Grey, Lexipedia, number three…Meredith's little sister, and as much as Cristina hated being the voice of reason she knew it needed to be said, _reality _had to come crashing back down to earth before anyone did something stupid.

"Even if we manage to get her out the second we release the pressure massive internal bleeding will cause…."

"Shut up, just shut the hell up" Mark spat out venomously as he spun around too quickly, forced to close his eyes and wait for the dizziness to pass before he could speak again.

Cristina saw her opening, her chance to try and talk some sense into Mark, to try and reason with the usually rational Derek. But Cristina was quickly shut down by the irate "no!" Mark roared as he pointed a finger at her, "unless the next few words to come out of your mouth are 'how can I help' just shut the hell up and go back to Arizona".

Fed up with the fighting and the bickering Meredith slowly hobbled towards her little sister before crouching down onto her hands and knees, wincing as the pain from her leg seared like molten fire up and down her spine. But the pain was quickly forgotten as she was finally hit with the gravity of the situation, her breath hitched in horror.

"Lexie" Meredith croaked with tears streaming down her face as she reached out for her little sister's hand, "Lexie Grey you wake up right this second" she yelled. But there was no response from Lexie, she didn't move, she didn't open her eyes…she made no complaint as Meredith held onto her hand with such a grip that her knuckles were starting to turn white.

Meredith quickly began to fall apart as she finally allowed the anger she had been holding back take control, she was made…no she was pissed at the fact that she had nearly lost her husband _again_, she was pissed that she had to watch her sister lay unconscious while trapped underneath the wing of an airplane. But most of all she was pissed because everything she seemed to touch…everything she seemed to love had a habit of walking away from her or dying and she was sick of it…she was sick and tired of being abandoned, of having to say goodbye and Lexie wasn't going to get off that easy.

"You don't get to die today do you hear me? " Meredith screamed in anger, making it clear that dying was _not _an option. "You don't get to make me love you, you don't get to make me care about the little sister I never wanted to know and then die on me," her silent tears finally broke down into uncontrollable sobbing. "You're all I have left, you're all the flesh and blood I have left so wake up and fight god damn it…fight for me, fight for Zola, fight for Mark…fight for…for…I don't give a crap what you fight for, but you fight for it god damn it because if you die on me I'll never forgive you. Do you hear me, I will _never _forgive you for leaving me".

It was painful for Derek as he was forced to helplessly stand back and listen to his wife beg Lexie to stay alive. He knew how hard it had been for her to let Lexie in. To believe that somebody actually wanted her, Meredith Grey, to be a part of his or her family…wanted to be loved by Meredith.

"Okay we can do this" Derek finally declared resolutely, he still wasn't a hundred percent on _how _exactly, but this was going to happen…they were going to save little Grey because Derek couldn't bare the idea of loosing Lexie; of loosing Mark and Meredith to all the pain and grief her death would bring upon their family.

Cristina looked across at him skeptically, like Derek had suddenly grown a second head, "how? Between you and me we only have two good arms" she noted pointing back and forth between the two of them, "and Sloan's…"

"Well maybe we could…" Derek quickly cut her off before Cristina could finish that sentence, "if we just…."

"Derek…." Meredith finally called out to him helplessly, hoping her husband understood that if he had a plan then they needed to work _fast_.

"Look we can do this okay" Derek spoke out encouragingly as he looked around at the three of them, ignoring the little rational voice inside his head that wouldn't stop pointing out the obvious. "We can find a way but I need you to hold it together until help comes..."

"You mean _if _help comes" Meredith corrected him somberly, she was normally a fighter…self-preservation always had a way of kicking in but little by little Meredith could feel herself be consumed by the hopelessness of the situation.

"No" Derek corrected his wife with a firm look in his eyes. "I mean _when_ help comes" he continued as he looked across at Cristina, silently pleading with her to say something positive because he needed Meredith to keep it together if this was going to work…if they were going to get out of here alive.

In silent understanding Cristina nodded her head in agreement before turning her attention to Meredith, "he's right. Help will come, I'm sure Owen's realized by now that we never made it to Boise".

"Maybe we could use some of these branches" Mark finally spoke up, trying desperately to remember everything he could about grade six physics. "We um, we could slide them underneath the debris and then…"

"Then if all four of us apply enough pressure…" Derek cut in as he picked up Mark's train of thought, he knew exactly where Mark was going with this and as crazy as it sounded it might just be their only chance, "we should be able to create enough space to pull her out".

Meredith blinked, taking a minute to make sure she understood their plan…that she understood just how they were planning on saving her sister. She had been so focused on paying attention that Meredith nearly missed it, the sound of her name being called out in a breathless whisper faintly in the background.

"Well let's move it people!" Meredith boomed commandingly before turning her attention back to Lexie. "I'm here, I'm right here Lex," she said reassuringly with a softer tone, finally giving herself permission to breathe again if only for a moment.

Lexie struggled to keep her eyes open as she tried to focus on the sound of their voices, the sound of Mark's voice. It would have been too easy to surrender to the darkness, to a place where she didn't have to _feel_ all the pain but Lexie fought…she fought hard because there was something she needed to say, something that was far too important to go unsaid.

It took all of the strength she had left to turn her head towards Meredith, but the look on her sister's face was more painful then the physical pain itself. "I can't…I can't breather, my chest feels likes it's going to explode" said Lexie gasping for air. Her tears were anguished with bitter threads of past mistakes that had cost her so much time, time that was now being ripped from her future.

"We're going to get you out of here okay" Meredith vowed, struggling to sound optimistic. "We found Derek, him and Mark have a plan…they have a plan and we're going to get you out".

Her breath hitched painfully. Her chest heaving in ragged gasps of oxygen into flagging aching lungs that were about to explode. "I need you to promise me something…." Lexie struggled to speak, forcing herself to push on but she was quickly interrupted by the sound of Derek's voice crying out for Meredith's help.

Nodding her head slowly in approval, reassuring Meredith that it was okay to let go, Lexie relished the feel of her sister trying to offer her strength and comfort through such a simple gesture as a squeeze of the hand.

Meredith reluctantly got back up on her feet and surveyed the area, she immediately noticed all the branches of wood and debris' of metal moved around. Jammed into any little pockets of space that Mark had managed find in the hopes of using them as some kind of leaver.

"What's the plan?"

"The plan's simple" Mark answered as he took charge of the situation, "we're all going to start pushing on these as hard as we can" he instructed while pointing to said branches and debris, "our total combined weight should be enough to move the tip of the wing

"_Should _be" Cristina questioned suspiciously; Lexie didn't have time for maybes.

"Just start pushing on the count of three, and Meredith will pull her out okay" Mark snapped out of frustration. Cristina's insistence on fighting him every step of the way was starting to grate on his nerves.

As they all got into position Derek paused, "Lex can you hear me?" he called out, waiting anxiously for a response.

With his shoulder pressed up against the base of the wing, ready and waiting to push Mark pounded his fist against metal as hard as he could. "_LEXIE!_" he screamed off the top of his lungs so loudly that the birds in the surrounding trees quickly flew away in a panic.

Sleep was quickly beginning to win her over when Lexie's body was suddenly, and painfully, jolted awake at the sound of Mark's scream. "I'm here" she replied as loud as she could but sounded more like croak, her throat was too dry and saw for talking.

"This is gonna hurt, but you need to stay as still as possible" Derek warned her as he mimicked Mark's stance. Positioning his one good hand against the metal in readiness to push, while making sure that both feet were firmly planted on a piece of metal that would hopefully act as a leaver.

Impatient to get started Mark took a deep breath, pushing aside the sharp pain that pierced his lung and called out to the three of them. "Alright on the count of three. Ready?" he asked as they signaled with a nod of their heads.

"Okay, one…two…three…" he cried out as they all pushed and turned as hard as they could against the metal debris but it wouldn't budge.

Trying to push against the wing of the plane ended up being too much of a strain on Cristina's shoulder. She was tired, she was sore, she was in pain and she needed to rest…just a minute to catch her breath.

Whether it was adrenaline or sheer desperation none of them knew for certain but Mark, Derek, and Meredith wouldn't stop despite Lexie's cries of protest that they were going to hurt themselves. The three of them continued to push on regardless as loud groans of fatigue and pain escaped their lips, Mark's face turning a shade of beet red as he struggled blindly against the metal that refused to give an inch.

"It's not working" Meredith screamed out as her body decided to stop, decided that it'd had enough for one day. She could feel the anger begin to give rise again, hope and optimism being overtaken by despair and defeat. Not having even realized she was doing it Meredith started to kick and scream in the midst of a complete breakdown. Banging her fists against the cold metal surface of the wing she cried out, "this stupid piece of crap won't budge…why won't you move, move damn it, MOVE!"

Forcing himself to stop because everyone else had Mark watched on as Meredith began to unravel. It hadn't occurred to him before what losing Lexie might do to Meredith. He had been so preoccupied with his own pain…with his own fears that he forgot that Meredith was _family_; she was the only family Lexie had left since her dad moved to Virginia. They weren't your typical sisters who always talked about their problems or constantly said 'I love you' to one another, but they were sisters…sisters who had formed an unusual but loveable bond that they had both grown dependent on and now…shaking his head Mark quickly let the train of thought go because he refused to give up, he refused to let Lexie go without a fight.

"Maybe if we use more of the debris we can…we could," he slurred as Mark continued to look around for anything he could use.

"Shut up, shut up for a second" Derek quickly cut him off with the slightest hint of anticipation. The silence of the woods was deafening, drowning them all in their unspoken fears. But Derek couldn't help but smile a little, "does anyone else hear that?"

Straining to listen carefully Cristina closed her eyes in the hopes that it would help her concentrate when suddenly there…off in the distance she could hear it as well, the faintest whooshing sound of propellers echoing throughout the forest. Throwing her good arm up in the arm Cristina jumped up and down, "chopper" she cried out in relief, "it's a chopper!"

"Cristina run, run back to plane. There should be a flare gun there that you can use to get the chopper's attention" Derek ordered urgently with a firm look on his face, making it clear that there was no time to argue.

"But I've only got one shoe!" Cristina screamed as she turned and ran as fast as she could back towards the crash site. She didn't need to be told twice but, with her mind racing a million miles a minute and the sight of help not far off in the distance, for that split second Cristina was reminded of her missing shoe.

With his hands running along the metal of the wing to keep his balance Mark stumbled towards Lexie, sighing in relief as he saw that she was still conscious.

"Help's here Lex, you're gonna be fine…help's here!"

As her body rattled with fits of coughing Lexie smiled despite the pain, help was here! She'd be fine because help had finally arrived…she was going to make it, everything would be all right and finally, finally they would get their happy ending.

"Hold my hand" said Lexie, "just hold my hand and don't let go…please don't let go" she begged with tears of relief running down her face, her right arm stretched out as far as she could reach.

Grasping her hand tentatively he looked across to Lexie and smiled. Crystal blue eyes locked on to hers as he whispered "I love you" reverently, as though loving Lexie Grey over the past three years had become his own private religion. He pressed his lips together and brought her knuckles up to his lips, kissing her delicate fingers one by one as he repeated the words over and over again. The gesture was so tender, so heartfelt, that it turned a cliché into something that only Mark Sloan could get away with, and Lexie smiled even wider.

"I love you and I'll never let go."

"Because we're meant to be," she whispered softly with a glazed look in her eyes, as though Mark needed to be reminded of the promise he had made only a short while ago.

Nodding his head continuously Mark kissed her hand one last time, whispering softly "because we're meant to be" in affirmation. He could hear the emergency crew in the background running towards them but Mark couldn't seem to find the strength to cry out for help because in that moment…in that that split second all that mattered was how much they loved each other.

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_If anyone would like to see this story continued please hit the review button, otherwise I might just slip off back into obscurity and pretend that season 8 stopped at 8.22. But if this story is continued please bare with me, it's been awhile since I've written something other than a research paper so I might be a little bit rusty at first._

_Also on a side not I'd just like to mention, with no bitterness at all, that I'd appreciate it if other fans of the show stopped commenting on twitter, Facebook and other forums about how we (Slexie fans) need to get over it; or that saying we won't watch season 9 is childish, because as fans of the show (and as someone who hasn't missed a single episode) I believe we have a right to feel the way we feel about the finale. Just like they would have the right to feel the same way if it had been Arizona or Cristina or Meredith, and making the conscious decision to not watch season 9 isn't being childish. For me it's about the fact that, while some of the storylines in the last two or three years have become rather contrived, the Mark and Lexie storyline was really the only reason I continued to watch. So if one half of that storyline will no longer be apart of the show I have a right as a fan to make the decision to stop watching, I think that everyone just needs to go back into their corners and let people feel and deal with the finale in their own way._


	2. Breaking Down Part 2

**Heartlines**

_**Summary: **__ Alternative ending to what could have happened to Lexie and Mark in the season 8 finale, i__f you haven't seen it; beware that this will spoil what happened. _

_**Author's note: **__just wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone who took the time to review this story so far, while I still feel a bit rusty with my writing I really do appreciate everyone's wonderful comments. Just to let you all know that this chapter is the second half of my version to the season finale. While I'd love to spend all my time writing this story I have to give a quick word of warning that in the next three or four weeks updates will be a bit more irregular because I'll be slammed with work, but I promise that I won't disappear again. I think it's also important to mention that while this story is centered on Mark and Lexie there will be sections devoted to the relationships of other characters: Mere/Cristina/Alex/Lexie, Mere/Der, Mere/Cristina, and Mark/Derek so I apologise that there are a lot of bits that don't revolve around Mark and Lexie but I really felt the need to get this out there so please bare with me._

_So without further ado please enjoy act 2 of __**my**__ version of the season finale. _

* * *

**Breaking Down part 2**

"We're here, we're over here" Mark could hear Meredith screaming desperately in the background, "you need to hurry, we're over here!" But he couldn't bring himself to look away from their entwined hands, fearing that Lexie might slip away as though she had never existed if he did.

Two paramedics came running across the field with bags of medical supplies strapped to their shoulders. The stockier looking man, who would later introduce himself as Steve, stopped a few paces behind his partner to examine Derek's arm. "You know you've got another surgeon and a pilot back at the crash site" he commented, unintentionally sounding like an accusation, while reaching for some gauze to assemble a bandage around the wound. Meredith's makeshift suture would have to hold until they could get them all back to a hospital.

"Which one out of the three do you think had a better chance of seeing out the day" Derek seethed, eyes flashing in anger because he didn't appreciate the man's tone of voice. It wasn't as though they had picked Lexie over a dying Arizona, the Paediatric surgeon would live to see another day…Lexie was the one who needed their help.

"_Derek_" Meredith shushed him; their emotions were running high so now wasn't the time to be picking fights with the paramedics.

"Okay what have we got?" questioned the second paramedic, hoping to avoid a confrontation between the two men.

As the question went unanswered Cristina suddenly found her second wind and took charge of the situation. She grabbed the paramedic by his arm and dragged the poor man over to Mark, who was still holding onto Lexie's hand.

Bracing her left arm in an attempt to try and sooth the pain Cristina took a deep breath then pointed to the debris that Lexie was currently trapped under. "We have a 27 year old female pinned underneath the wing of the airplane. She's tachycardic and short of breath which is mostly likely due to a massive hemothorax in her lung, her legs and pelvis are crushed and she has no sensation in her left arm most likely indicating an amputation" she reported in one long sentence, refusing to take a breath.

The paramedic blinked, letting all the information sink in as he looked down at Mark. Pointing to him with a questioning look asking _and what about him _but Cristina's face made it clear that it was best not to ask.

"Sir I'm going to need you to step aside" the paramedic spoke up, tapping Mark lightly on the shoulder to get his attention but he wouldn't move. "Uh Dr…"

"Sloan, Dr. Mark Sloan" Meredith called out while batting away Steve the paramedics help, as far as she was concerned he needed to be over there helping Lexie.

"Okay Dr. Sloan I'm going to need you to move out of the way so I can asses your friend's injuries…"

"I'm not moving" Mark murmured so softly at first that he wasn't even sure they heard him, "I'm not moving!".

Crouching down beside him Cristina gently took Mark by the forearm, forcing him to look at her. "Mark you need to…"

"I'm not letting go," he growled, the hidden message being received loud and clear.

Standing back up Cristina sighed in defeat; "you're just going to have to work around him".

"Ma'am…"

"First of all my name isn't Ma'am it's Dr. Yang" Cristina cut him off indignantly as the anger began to fester again, "and secondly my friend here is not letting go of her hand because he loves her. And when you make a promise to the person you love you're supposed to stand by it…stand by them" she raved like a mad woman, although not really sure if she was referring to Mark or Owen, "so if you really know how to do your freaking job right then you'll work around him".

The paramedic looked over his shoulder hoping to get some support from Meredith or Derek, hoping that one of them could talk some sense into their friends but the expression on their faces made it clear that he wasn't going to win any supporters.

Shaking his head in defeat the paramedic dropped down onto his hands and knees, crawling towards the small opening of space that Mark's solid build hadn't managed to block.

"Ma'am can you hear me?" he called out while he tried reaching for a pulse, she was still tachycardic.

Forcing her heavy eyelids open Lexie groaned in pain and fatigue, her hazel eyes quickly seeking out Mark's crystal blue eyes as the world slowly came into focus once again. Pushing aside the sound of the strangers voice Lexie smiled at the face she had fallen madly in love with, a face that was just as beautiful in its quiet vulnerability as it was in its fierce determination.

"Ma'am I need you to focus on the sound of my voice" the paramedic called out again, breaking the trance between Mark and Lexie.

Reluctantly Lexie tore here gaze away and looked across at the paramedic, forced to bite her tongue before she yelled at the man to go away and allow them this private moment.

"Ma'am can you tell me you name?"

"Le…Lexie G…Grey" she gasped, it wasn't getting any easier to breathe.

"Hi Lexie, my name's Trey and my partner over there is Steve" said Trey hoping it would help calm the young woman down, "we're going to do everything we can to get you out of here".

"Go…good because I…_we, we_ have plans that we've been putting on hold long enough, right?" Lexie stuttered firmly with a serene smile directed squarely at Mark.

"Absolutely" the sound of Mark's voice rasped in agreement, he could feel the knot in his throat beginning to burn as he struggled to blink back the tears.

"Okay Lexie can you tell me if you feel like your condition has gotten any worse since Dr. Yang examined you?"

"N…no, the pain hasn't gotten any worse but…but it hasn't subsided either so that's, that's a good thing" she responded in between gasping breaths.

"That's definitely a good thing" Trey tried to reassure her, "now just sit tight while I go radio in to base for some help okay". The paramedic quickly stood back up and tired to get as much distance between himself and Lexie before he radioed it in.

Lexie tried to block out the sound of the paramedic's voice, tried hard not listen as he reported her injuries in such black and white detail. "Well when you put it that way it actually sounds bad," she laughed sardonically while trying to must up the courage to smile.

"Lucky for us we've got Dr. Bailey and Dr. Webber. They'll have you good as new in no time" said Mark, even though he wasn't entirely sure who he was trying to convince more.

"Mark…"

"Okay you three need to head back to the crash site" paramedic Trey instructed pointing to Cristina, Meredith and Derek; he knew it was pointless to even try reasoning with Mark. "There's a chopper there that'll take you back to Boise Memorial…"

"Wait a minute you mean Seattle Grace-Mercy West" Meredith corrected the paramedic with a dazed look.

"No I mean Boise Memorial" Trey repeated confidently; "a Dr. Sheen was the one who contacted the airfield about your disappearance. We haven't heard anything from Seattle Grace-Mercy West as of yet."

Looking across to Derek and Meredith Cristina shook her head in disbelief, "that doesn't make any sense. Owen has to know we're missing by now…

"Dr. Yang you can have this discussion once you're home safe and sound" the paramedic cut in, "but right now I need the three of you to move it."

Cristina watched as Meredith struggled with choosing between her husband and her sister, torn between the two of them as if her decision would be a reflection upon who she loved more…the guilt eating her up over the one she'd have to leave behind.

"Go" Cristina called out to her best friend as she stumbled across towards them. "You go with Derek and Arizona, I'll stay behind with Sloan and little Grey" she clarified in answer to the confusion written across both their faces.

"But Cristina…"

"Derek needs you" she interrupted, leaving no room for argument because Cristina knew without a doubt that if the shoe was on the other foot Meredith would do exactly the same thing in her place.

"So does Lexie" Meredith tried to argue anyway but she recognised that look in Cristina's eyes; that determined look that screamed _I've made up my mind so don't even bother trying to get in my way_.

"Yeah well she's already got Sloan and right now he's a basket case, and besides I'm a better surgeon than you are," she remarked trying to inject a bit of humor into her voice, into the conversation…into their situation.

"Cristina…" Meredith shook her head and laughed dryly, sure it was a bad joke but to her it was Cristina's way of trying to make a bad situation hurt a little less. Looking back and forth between her husband and her sister Meredith didn't know what to do.

Cristina reached out towards Meredith and cupped her tear stained cheeks, "Meredith it's okay I've got'em, I promise we'll be right behind you…all _three _of us will be right behind you."

Throwing her arms around Cristina in a bear hug Meredith sobbed uncontrollably, "you are still my person, even if I'm not yours."

* * *

For Miranda Bailey today was not a good, today was anything _but _good. She had a maybe boyfriend/maybe fiancé moving to L.A., she had residents flying the coop…residents that she had given her blood, sweat and tears for…residents who would be out there in the real world; with a real scalpel cutting and slicing and doing god knows what else without her there to watch over them. But to top it all off she had a resident, one single pesky resident, who decided that today of _all days_ would be a good day to go MIA with the hospital already short-staffed.

Charging through the emergency doors of Seattle Grace-Mercy West Dr. Bailey stood in the middle of triage, searching wildly for somebody to yell at, when she spotted him. Over by the nurses station Alex Karev was just casually hanging around like he didn't have a care in the world, and suddenly Miranda wanted to slap him.

"Karev where the hell is Kepner?" Dr. Bailey barked at the resident.

"Wh…what?" Alex stuttered while he frantically looked around the nurses' desk, searching for anything he could use to look like he was busy.

"Dr. Kepner, where is she…" Miranda paused with a scorn; yanking the birdpen Karev had just picked up out of his hand and slamming it back down in frustration, "she was supposed to start her shift an hour ago".

Shaking his head Alex smirked in relief, "probably nursing a bad hangover". But the smirk quickly disappeared at the glaring look Bailey shot him, "and before you ask no I haven't checked on her. She'll just spaz out and start yelling at me to stop pitying her…she's gone crazy and I am done with crazy" he declared holding his hands up in self-defense.

The scowl quickly turned into bewilderment, mouth left hanging open because for the first time in a really long time Miranda Bailey was lost for words…she didn't even know how to respond to Karev''s insensitivity and that only mad her angrier.

"What did you just say?" She snapped, anger and frustration consuming her all at once.

Quickly taking a step back Alex stuttered "u…no…nothing" as he looked around the triage room for someone, anyone to save him.

Pointing her finger at Alex Miranda shook her head in disbelief as she readied one of her tried and tested speeches. "Karev you know you can be…"

But Owen and Richard quickly cut her off as they barged into the middle of their conversation, "Dr. Bailey we need to speak to you right now" said Owen anxiously.

Pausing mid rant with her finger in the air Miranda thought about ignoring Owen, to just keep going with her speech regardless of the two, but something told her this was important. "You, go find Kepner" she ordered in short and succinct syllables before Dr. Bailey started to walk away from her former resident, now royal pain in the ass.

Throwing his hands up in the air Alex cried out in disbelief, "but I've got surgery in ten minutes".

"Well I can easily solve that problem" she declared with an evil grin, enjoying this way too much, "until you find Kepner you're not stepping foot inside that O.R."

"You can't be serious!" Alex yelled, drawing everyone's attention towards him.

"Oh I'm _dead_ serious, are we clear? Good" Dr. Bailey replied, pronouncing each word slowly as though she was speaking to a child. Watching as Alex stomped off towards the emergency bay Dr. Bailey squeaked in surprise, struggling against Owen and Richard's grip as they dragged her out through the triage doors and into the nearest conference room.

"What, what the hell is so damn important that you two are manhandling me" she snapped, pulling on the lapels of her coat to straighten the material out while Richard made sure the door was closed.

"The plan to Boise never made it" Owen declared, getting straight to the point because he didn't have time to try and placate Miranda Bailey.

"Wha…what?" Miranda stuttered while looking across to Dr. Webber for confirmation.

"Dr. Sheen from Boise Memorial left me four messages" Owen sighed as he collapsed into the nearest chair, running his hands through his hair in disbelief. "Apparently our surgeons never arrived…."

"Well where are they?" Dr. Bailey cut him off the second she managed to will her mouth to speak again.

"I don't know" answered Owen as he focused on the mahogany wood of the table, he couldn't look her in the eye…he could barely look Richard in the eye when Owen had informed the former-Chief what had happened.

"Did something happen to the plane?"

"I don't know" the Chief of surgery sighed as Miranda continued to fire rapid questions at him, questions that Richard had already asked…questions he didn't have any answers to.

She could feel that sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach grow, the same feeling that was there when they discovered that John Doe was George O'Malley. "Well are they all okay?" she asked as Miranda began to pace up and down the room like a mama cub ready to pounce on anyone who threatened her young.

"I don't know"

"Well what the hell do you know!"? Dr. Bailey screamed throwing her hands up in the air, "you're supposed to be the Chief…"

"Miranda…" Richard interrupted with an even tone as he tried to calm Dr. Baily down but he knew it would be a pointless exercise.

"No" she stopped mid stride; storming over to Owen's chair Miranda leaned in towards the man, her face merely inches away from his. "We have six surgeons missing" she declared jabbing the table with her finger, "and no one knows where the hell they are or if they're even alive!"

Clearing his throat to speak Owen pushed his seat back and stood up, "Dr. Bailey…"

"Newsflash, you are the Chief of surgery" she exclaimed, "and being Chief means you're supposed to now everything that goes on in this hospital…you're supposed to have eyes and ears all over the place. So tell me how the hell it has taken you nearly _one whole day _to realize that our surgeons…our _people_ never made it to Boise Memorial?" she asked standing there with her hands on her hips.

Working hard to push the guilt aside Owen took a deep breath, "what I do know is that the airfield lost contact with the airplane somewhere over the national park. Once they received word from Boise Memorial that our people failed to land a search and rescue team were coordinated by emergency services"

Taking a minute to let the information sink in Miranda looked around the room aimlessly. But finally she settled on looking Richard straight in the eye, almost as if Owen wasn't even in the room, "so they've got people out there looking for them."

Nodding his head affirmatively Richard slowly walked over to his former resident, tentatively wrapping an arm around her shoulders in a supportive hug. "They've got people looking for them, Boise Memorial are on stand-by and we'll prepare our people as well" he declared in a 'taking-charge' kind of voice, the kind of voice he used all the time when he was Chief.

* * *

As the paramedic watched Meredith and Derek's silhouettes recede into the bushes of the tree line Trey crouched back down beside Mark. "Lexie I need you to just hold on for a little longer okay, help will be here in the next ten minutes or so" he declared before turning to look across at Mark. "I'm guessing you're the husband," Trey surmised despite that he couldn't see a wedding ring on either of their clasped hands, but experience told him that when it came to medical surgeons that didn't mean much.

Mark couldn't help but smile a little at hearing the stranger refer to him as her husband…as _Lexie Grey's husband_. Tenderly kissing the palm of her hand he reluctantly shook his head but then quickly thought better of it.

"I guess you could call me her fiancé" he corrected slowly; but after testing the word aloud Mark decided he liked the way that sounded. "I'm the fiancé, and as soon as she makes it through all of this we're getting married…we're getting married and we're going to have the best life together".

* * *

_I know that this didn't really do much or go anywhere but I unfortunately had to break this next chapter up into separate sections otherwise it would have been too long and I didn't want to bore you guys with too much reading at once. So please remember to review and I'll try to update as soon as possible, but like I said I'll be slammed with work for the next two or three weeks so please bare with me. _


	3. Never Let Me Go

**Heartlines**

_**Summary: **__ Alternative ending to what could have happened to Lexie and Mark in the season 8 finale, i__f you haven't seen it; beware that this will spoil what happened._

* * *

**Never Let Me Go**

Mark could barely recall how they'd made it back to Seattle Grace – or was it Boise? He wasn't even sure anymore what city, in what town or even what state they were in. All he could focus on at the moment was trying to keep up with the emergency crew, trying to make sure that he didn't let go of her hand.

It had taken them longer then they'd expected to free Lexie out from under the wreckage of the plane. The shock to her system meant that she lost consciousness and Mark's blood ran cold, shivering violently as he was reminded of Cristina's 's heart had stopped beating for two minutes…for two whole minutes he experienced a world where he had lived and she had died, a world he wanted no part of…

Mark was suddenly pulled out of his darker thoughts; nearly tripping over his own feet after he bumped right into a solid mass. With his hand still holding on to her for dear life Mark barely recognised the sound of Miranda Bailey's voice; a soft, soothing tone she usually reserved for her son. He looked around, still blinking wildly, and suddenly Mark was surrounded by a swarm of familiar faces: Owen, Richard, Miranda, Alex, Meredith and Cristina watching on helplessly as Dr. Bailey tried to tell him something. But he wasn't listening, he could barely make out the sound of her muffled voice as Mark tried to speak…tried to ask what she was saying, what was going, how they got back to Seattle Grace? He had so many questions that needed to be asked but the wailing sound of a heart monitor drew his attention back to Lexie.

He could hear his thoughts praying to a god he had never believed in, a god that Mark was certain had forsaken him when he was only just a little boy. Praying that her skin would grow warmer in the palm of his hand, that she'd squeeze his hand, for any kind of sign that would tell him it was going to be okay.

"Mark" Dr. Bailey called out with a firmer tone, hoping that he would hear the urgency in her voice. She couldn't even begin to imagine what they'd all been through out there, just seeing Lexie's injuries were enough to make her heart sink and her stomach churn. She felt for Mark, understood the hell he was going through but in that moment he was being more of a burden than any help.

"People we're loosing precious time here, we've got to get her inside the O.R. _now!" _Owen growled, his knuckles turning white while his hold on the gurney tightened. He was beginning to grow impatient with Mark; they'd managed to get Derek and Arizona into surgery swiftly but this time it was taking too long.

Glaring at Owen with a mixture of anger and disappointment Miranda slowly reached out and delicately grabbed his wrist and paused, choosing her words carefully before she spoke. "Mark you need to let go of her hand" she urged while gently trying to pull his hand away but it was no use, the more she pulled the more his grip tightened around Lexie's slender fingers.

"Mark…"

"I'm coming in there with you" Mark announced hoarsely. He'd lost that tone of confidence, the air of arrogance that usually carried through with every word spoken. Instead it came out sounding weaker, broken…akin to something almost like pathetic and the irony wasn't lost on Mark. He'd lost count of how many times he'd called the residents weak, told them how pathetic they were and here he was…holding onto Lexie's hand as if it was his last lifeline.

"Sloan…" Owen began to protest but Dr. Bailey cut him off with a raise of her hand, signaling him to be quiet.

"With all do respect Dr. Sloan you know that we can't let you do that, operating on one of our own will be hard enough as it is" Miranda argued, hoping that she could reason with Mark. "But having you in there will mean you're distracting us from helping Lexie…our ability to care for the patient will be compromised and I know that's the _last _thing you want for little Grey".

Blinking back the tears Mark shook his head. "I can't" he whispered inconsolably, "I can't let go. I promised Lexie I'd never let her go so with all do respect Dr. Bailey I'm not leaving her side".

"Her pressure's dropping" Richard declared, shooting Meredith and Cristina a silent order to do something…anything to get Sloan away from Lexie.

"Mark we don't have time for this" Owen pleaded with his friend, struggling to keep it together while his emotions pulled him in so many different directions.

Appearing out of nowhere Alex gently pushed Dr. Bailey aside and slowly reached out, he paused for a second to make sure that Mark understood that Alex wasn't trying to hurt him then declared, "I'll hold her hand".

"Wh…what" Mark stuttered disbelievingly.

"Dr. Bailey's right dude you can't be in there" answered Alex. "So I'll do it, I'll sit by her head and hold her hand or whatever crap it is you need me to do. But if I'm gonna do this, be all sentimental and stuff, then you have to sit your ass in the waiting room and stay there. Because if you step one foot inside that O.R. I _will _let go and I'll personally throw you out myself" Alex instructed him despite the look of fury growing in Mark's eyes.

Alex wasn't trying to be an ass, or at least not his usual kind of assiness. He just wanted to try and help Lexie because it was the only thing he could…it was the only thing he could think of to distract himself from the guilt that had begun to fester inside for letting Arizona take his place.

Nodding slowly Mark gave her hand a squeeze, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Mark leaned forward and gently brushed a few strands of hair from her face, pressing a warm kiss to her forehead. "I'll be waiting for you Lexie, we'll be okay," he whispered kissing her forehead tenderly again and again.

"Okay let's move people" Owen ordered, quickly taking the opportunity they had to get Lexie into the O.R. before Mark changed his mind. Along with Richard and Miranda the three Attendings pushed the gurney through the emergency doors, Alex holding Lexie's hand the whole time just like he had promised.

"You better not let go of her Karev," Mark's threatening voice echoed down the empty corridors of Seattle Grace-Mercy West.

"What if I suddenly have an itch that needs scratching" Alex smirked as they turned the corner, knowing that it would piss Mark off enough to distract him from his darker thoughts for a minute or two.

Running his hands through his hair Mark shook his head in disbelief, questioning his sanity for trusting Alex Karev of all people to be there for Lexie when he couldn't. His instinct…his gut was screaming at Mark, telling him to get his ass inside that O.R. because that's where be belonged. His skin itching for him to charge through those doors but his feet weren't listening; instead Mark was left standing in the corridor with nothing more than Cristina and Meredith for support.

Meredith gave him a sad tight smile and patted Mark on the shoulder awkwardly. She was never sure how to handle public displays of affection, or deal with emotions, and Meredith certainly didn't know how to handle Mark…that was Derek's domain.

Mark tried to find the energy to smile back but he couldn't, he could barely stand anymore without trembling now that the adrenaline had passed. "You probably shouldn't be standing on that" he commented pointing his head towards the brace wrapped around Meredith's leg.

Meredith waved her hand dismissively, trying really hard to downplay the pain, and hobbled across to the deserted waiting room; sighing in relief that she could finally sit down.

"How did we even get here, I thought the paramedic said Boise Memorial had called it in?" Mark asked as he flopped down into the seat beside her, exhausted and anxious he hung his head and closed his eyes.

"Boise contacted Owen, notified him that they'd found us. Then Richard made a few calls and here we are, back at Seattle Grace".

Trying to pull himself together Mark took a deep breath when suddenly he remembered about his best friend, "what about Derek?"

"He's in surgery…" Meredith trailed, the tight knot building up in her throat made it impossible to speak. It felt like every word said was pushing Meredith one step closer to a complete breakdown, "Dr. Torres has Derek in surgery, and Lexie's with Bailey so they're gonna be fine, everything is going to be fine!"

Pacing back and forth Cristina shook her head in disbelief, "I don't understand how this keep happening, " she growled through gritted teeth, her right fist tightly clenched.

"Cristina…"

"I'm serious. I do _not _understand how this keeps happening. We keep dying!" Cristina exploded, ignoring the worried looks on their faces. "What with the bombs in the hospital, guns to my head, busses running down our friends and now we were in a plane crash…a freakin plane crash. But I'mma tell you one thing, when this is all over I'm getting the hell away from Seattle Grace-Mercy Death and I'm never looking back".

Stunned by Cristina's angry outburst neither of them knew what to say, Mark looked across to Meredith hoping she'd know what to do but she didn't. Meredith didn't even know where to begin, wondering if Cristina really meant what she said or whether it was the PTSD talking.

"So you're really leaving? Even after everything that's happened you're still going to Mayo Clinic?"

Falling into the seat on Meredith's other side Cristina heaved a heavy sigh. "You know I get it, I get that life can be a little bit messy… a little bit dark and twisty sometimes" she said. "But lately it's like everything around here's become one big soap opera, and I'm tired. I'm tired of all the drama…of all the yelling and fighting, it isn't meant to be _this cruel…_"

"Sometimes you just wanna be the boring happy couple" Mark interrupted with a distant look in his eyes, a look that seemed to pass straight through the opposite wall while he thought about Lexie. "To be the guy who gets to come home to the woman he loves knowing that she loves him more today then she did yesterday, but also knows without a doubt that she'll love him even more tomorrow".

Meredith and Cristina both turned towards him with an odd look of surprise, they never really knew what was going to come out of Mark Sloan's mouth and usually it was the last thing they were ever expecting. This warm, fuzzy, feeling talk was Derek's thing and neither of them knew how to reply.

Cristina opened her mouth, about to respond when suddenly they were interrupted by a little blonde whirlwind throwing herself at Mark. "Oh thank god you're alright" Julia cried, wrapping her arms around his neck so tightly Cristina was certain his head was about to pop off. "I was worried sick, when Callie called and told me what happened I was so scared, I had no idea if you were even alive or dead" she rambled on and on.

Mark's entire body froze in his chair as she continued to hold on; he couldn't even move his arms to push her away as Julia started to attack his face with kisses. With Lexie he'd always found her incessant rambling cute, even sexy, and it was one of the reasons he loved her so much. But with Julia it made his skin crawl; it wasn't cute or endearing or sexy, it was pathetic and it made Mark sick to his stomach.

Nudging Meredith with her elbow Cristina rolled her eyes at the ophthalmologist, biting her tongue before she made some kind of sarcastic comment about Mark dumping her ass.

Glaring at her best friend to keep her mouth shut Meredith stood as quickly as her leg would let her. "Come on Cristina you need to get that shoulder checked out" she declared pulling Cristina out of her chair, "and I need to try calling Thatcher again".

"But I wanna stay and watch, it just got interesting" Cristina whined like a two year old, fighting the urge to stomp her foot. "I wanna watch Sloan squash her like a bug, pull the rug out from under her…"

"You're being bitter, you get that right," Meredith whispered, struggling to pull Cristina away from Mark and Julia. Meredith knew where this was going; she'd seen that same look in Derek's eyes when he broke up with her…when he chose Addison.

"My husband cheated on me with a scrub nurse and then I fell out of the freakin sky, I get to bitter" Cristina hissed.

"Are you two okay over there?" Julia called out with a furrowed brow; everyone had been acting weird around her today. Every time she asked somebody about Mark they'd given her the brush off, or suddenly had a page.

"Uh we're gonna just go and…" Meredith stuttered pointing towards the nearest exit "and get Cristina's shoulder looked at. But Mark you need to head down to the E.R. and get yourself checked out as well okay"

Mark squirmed out of Julia's hold and quickly pushed her away, his body instinctively moving back towards the emergency doors…towards Lexie. Taken by surprise Julia nearly fell to the ground, but in that moment she was more annoyed by the small snickering sound she heard coming from Cristina.

Crossing his arms defensively Mark tried to focus all his attention on Meredith, "I'm fine," he argued with that stubborn look on his face.

"Okay come on Cristina" Meredith sighed in defeat before walking away. But her person couldn't resist one last dig; Cristina looked over shoulder and waved at Julia, "see you June".

Frowning in confusion Julia shook her head, "actually it's Julia".

"Yeah, I really don't care" Cristina retorted with a shrug of her shoulders. "But it was nice knowing you" she smirked before quickly turning to catch up to Meredith.

Staring off into the distance Mark leant against the wall with his arms crossed, the awkward silence between the two of them deafening the deserted waiting room. But suddenly his mouth began to move like it had a mind of its own, words that he had no control over spewing out.

"I don't love you," he declared bluntly with such a straight face there really wasn't any room to argue. "I mean you're a great girl, and I'm happy that you get along with Callie and Arizona but I'm not in love with you".

Julia walked across the room towards Mark; cradling his face in her hands she gently stroked his cheek. "Mark it's okay, I'm not expecting some great declaration of love right now" she whispered softly with a smile on her face, and just as she leaned in to kiss him Mark quickly sidestepped her.

Running a hand through his hair Mark growled, he was frustrated that she had completely misunderstood what he was saying…that she couldn't just make this easier for him and understand that it was over between them.

"I thought that if I just gave it some time. If I didn't try and rush things between us like I did with Lexie then I'd get there. I'd eventually be able to say I love you, say that I see a future for us, but I'm never gonna get there…I'm never going to be able to say I love you" he trailed off, looking down at the ground with regretful eyes.

Mark knew that he'd screwed up; his _greatest _fear was that Lexie would die in that O.R. thinking that he never really meant what he'd said out there in the woods. Mark _needed _the chance to make things right again…to prove to Lexie that he really did love her, and that no matter what happened next they were going to get through it _together._

Blinking back the tears in her eyes Julia quickly shook her head, refusing to believe what he was saying. "You know what this is uh…it's been a rough couple of days for you" she declared and moved to grab him by the hand, "so why don't we just get you down to the E.R. and one of the residents can check you out, make sure that there isn't any internal bleeding or blows to the head that we should be worried about".

Mark quickly pulled his hand away so that it was out of reach, so that he wouldn't have to feel the touch of her skin against his because right now the thought of touching anyone else other than Lexie made his head spin.

"Julia…"

"No" she cut him off angrily while pointing a finger at him, "you are not doing this to me right now. You are not breaking up with me in the middle of a hospital after I spent the last few hours crying my eyes out because the man I love might be dead".

"I know okay, I know that the timing sucks…I know that I suck right now" Mark fired back, throwing his arms up in the air helplessly because he didn't like the situation any more then she did. But it had to be done, he needed to end things with Julia and the more she pushed him the more frustrated and angrier he got. "But you deserve to be happy, you deserve somebody who is going to love you with every bone in his body and that's not me…"

"Because you're still in love with Lexie," she gasped as the realisation suddenly hit her. Shaking her head Julia laughed bitterly before wiping away the tears that had finally spilled over. "You know…"she croaked, "the nurses around here warned me about you. They said getting involved with you was a bad idea because I'd only end up getting hurt…that you were still in love with _little Grey_".

Rubbing the back of his neck in shame Mark looked down at the ground again, "Julia…"

"But I defended you" she growled, her face stone cold. "I told them that you weren't like that, that you'd never use me to try and move on with your life but it turns out that they were right," she yelled.

Mark's head snapped up, locking eyes with Julia who seemed to be waiting for an answer. "Look I'm sorry that you got hurt" he said, his crystal blue eyes quickly changing to a stormy grey with clouded anger, "I'm sorry that you and Avery got caught in the middle between me and Lexie. But I'm not going to apologise for the way I feel, for being honest with you…"

Folding her arms defensively Julia scoffed, "honest? You call the last three months being honest? You call secretly pining away for your ex-girlfriend, whom I stupidly tried to be nice to, as being honest!" she ranted on. Pacing up and down Julia was oblivious to both the pain and anger building up within him. "You're nothing but a coward, and a liar…you're both pathetic, neither of you had the guts to say what you really wanted so instead you both screwed around with other people and damn with their feelings…"

He gritted his teeth and clenched his fists, Mark could feel himself drowning in a pool of emotions…confusion, hurt, sorrow, anger, it was all beginning to overwhelm him; and no matter how hard he tried to fight Mark couldn't hold it together any longer.

Without saying another word Mark stormed off down the nearest corridor as fast his feet could carry him; only stopping once he realized that he'd reached his office. Thinking about Julia's word over and over again his mind created something out of nothing, questioning whether this was all his fault? Whether if he'd just said something, if he'd just told her how he really felt that night then maybe she never would have been on the plane...maybe he could have stopped this from happening?

With anger pumping through his veins he slammed the door shut behind him, and finally reached his breaking point. With one smooth sweep of his arm Mark threw everything off of the table and sent if crashing to the floor, the self-blame and agony quickly starting to take over. Allowing the anger to finally consume him, burning away the last of his patience, Mark spun on his heels and grabbed the chair sitting in the corner. Not even thinking twice he threw it with all the strength he had left into the wall, cracking the glass window that had been reinforced after the shooting.

After turning everything he could get his hands on upside down Mark feel onto his knees; struggling to catch his breath as it came out in short, labored breaths and his heart pounded like a drum in his chest. Looking around at the mess he'd created Mark finally broke down; he'd forced himself to keep it together as best he could, refused to let anyone see him at his weakest because it's what his parent's had taught him. But in the solitude of his darkened office Mark hugged his knees to his chest, his body rocking back and forth as the tears he'd been holding back began to fall; desperately praying for Lexie to come back.

* * *

_Well there you have it so please remember to let me know what you think. _


End file.
